By Crag Dakkins
For a second Asscock thought he was going to need his crow bar to pry the boards off the door. A light tough of his hand, though, proved this would be unnecessary. The boards, the door, and much of the surrounding doorframe crumbled away in a shower of blocks.
Reports were made of Extreme [...]
By Dr. Gonzo Kablaa
The taxi cab’s radio started playing “You Make My Dreams Come True” as it drove down 4th Avenue. Nickasun’s heart was racing. His hands were shaking. Approximately 15 minutes ago, he had walked right out of a police department, right out the door, and hailed a taxi cab. Never before had he [...]
By Crag Dakkins
GRUTCH: My attorney is very useful, despite his racial handicap. I think he’s Samoan.
NICKASUN: What?
GRUTCH: You remind me of a movie. Hop in.
NICKASUN: Where are we going?
GRUTCH: Is Pancake’s House still here?
NICKASUN: What’s that?
GRUTCH: What does it sound like to you?
NICKASUN: A place with pancakes?
GRUTCH: Very good. Pancakes would cromulate right about now. [...]
By Dr. Gonzo Kablaa
“We’re getting nowhere. NOWHERE.”
Pictures were plastered all over the wall. So were post-it notes. Not the generic kind either. The real deal Minnesota 3M ones. They weren’t fucking around. There were bulletin boards, arrows drawn to and fro, newspaper articles, highlighted portions of text. And there was a table in the corner [...]
By Crag Dakkins
The ratio was all wrong. The Police Procedural Videos dictated that there should be no more than one mole per twenty scum, but at present in the AbracaPASTA! Italian restaurant there were seven moles and one scum. Everywhere Shitface looked, he saw people he knew, and a few he might call “close friends”. [...]
By Dr. Gonzo Kablaa
CUBIC ZIRCONIA!
Nickasun awoke with this term in his head. He awoke, of course, in his bed. Which was sprawled across two tables in the front of the bar. The Africanized termites hadn’t eaten his mattress yet.
He wasn’t sure why he had awoken with the word “cubic zirconia” circulating through his brain on [...]