“You thought I was GAY???”
This is said by the spitting image of Charles Nelson Reilly.
“Heh,” I laugh.
“Why would you ever think THAT?” His limp wrist is flipping his hand like a suffocating fish, gesturing toward me and then back to his chest – or “breast” as I imagine he calls it.
“OK, you’ve made your point,” [...]
The Darcy twins had a curious combination of attributes. On the one hand, they were considered by many of their sophomore classmates to be the most attractive girls in the school. On the other hand, they were considered by many of these same people to be the most repulsive girls in the school. In boys’ [...]
People tend to go nuts for the stupidest reasons. Case in point: Future Megastore is having a sale right now and a near-riot is occurring.
I’m trying to return a computer and the jerkoff manager is telling me that Future Megastore will no longer honor warranties or accept returns. It’s really hard for me to hear [...]
Detective Billingsley stood in the rain looking at the light coming from the second-story apartment window. He had come this far and now that his cigarettes had been ruined by the rain, he figured he better finish it. Otherwise, he would have nothing else to do this evening.
Detective Billingsley, or Detective B as his fellow [...]
“It’s not only the population increase and its resulting increase in egalitarian ethics. The advancement of technology is to blame, too.”
Grandpa rocked in his chair on the porch. Billy played with his Hot Wheels and tried to listen to Grandpa at the same time. Listening to Grandpa’s stories was hard for Billy. Grandpa always talked [...]
CHICAGO – In the midst of Inning the Seventh of a smashing-good Base-Ball game between the New York Mutuals and the Chicago White Stockings, Chicago’s own Man-About-Town and shoe-sole magnate Ashleydale Ascotcumberbundsburg demonstrated for the captivated throng the procedure with which one transmits messages over the remarkable Bell Engine which was invented by the esteemed [...]