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Is “at” followed by “@” redundant? I don’t care. Sucks to you.
Movie criticism advice: Avoid using the term “Lynchian” as a synonym for “weird” all the damn time.
Movie criticism advice: There is no difference between your favorite and your pick as “the best”. IT’S A FALSE DICHOTOMY!
Movie criticism advice: A [...]
Dr. Gonzo Kablaa TMC review – April 7, 2009
I wrote a lot of this review while fairly drunk.
You’re rich. You have money, power, a cowboy hat. What’s the one thing you still need? Some grade A poontang (and not “pointing”, as Microsoft Word suggests I might have meant. How the fuck would anyone possibly spell [...]
Dr. Gonzo Kablaa TMC review – April 4, 2009
This movie is supposed to be about the pitfalls of capitalism or something. I thought it was more about the pitfalls of being stupid.
One thing I noticed off the bat is one of the problems of Malcolm McDowell’s career. I immediately reverted to my Clockwork Orange conception [...]
Dr. Gonzo Kablaa TMC review – February 7, 2009
“I’ve got this idea for a movie. Some dude gets kidnapped and has to dig sand forever.”
“Can we still add in something about sexual repression?”
“Yeah, probably.”
“All right. Let’s give it a go.”
I didn’t even know they HAD dunes in Japan. Much less, quicksand.
The nice thing about Japanese [...]
Dr. Gonzo Kablaa TMC review – January 16, 2009
Indiana Jones 4 was a remake of this movie. Do you see?
Estranged older father meets son he didn’t know existed. Tensions develop, and then there’s an adventure! At the end, there’s an intimate family moment.
There are differences, of course. Indiana Jones was never killed with cling wrap, [...]
Dr. Gonzo Kablaa TMC review – January 16, 2009
Never would I have imagined “Duck, you sucker” could be made into a catchy catch phrase. Sergio Leone did it, though. The next time I blow something up with dynamite, that’ll probably be the phrase I use. It has a certain appeal to it. I was wondering [...]
Dr. Kablaa TMC review – December 29, 2008
“Hey, we are having a no-holds barred martial arts competition.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. It seems like a good idea.”
“There’s no mystical evil force taking over the world or revenge or magnificent reward basis to it?”
“No.”
The lack of set-up is actually appealing. A good martial arts movie is not about [...]
Dr. Kablaa TMC Review – November 17, 2008
The Believer. BELIEVE IT! That’s something Naruto says. You are most likely familiar with the expression. The expression could have been transitioned easily into this movie.
“I am a Nazi. Believe it!”
“Aren’t you a Jew?”
“No. Didn’t you hear me? BELIEVE IT!”
This movie was mainly about a Jew who hated [...]
Dr. Gonzo Kablaa TMC review – September 30, 2008
You probably thought I wouldn’t enjoy this movie. You were correct.
Let’s start with the first part of the title, “Family”. True to the title, this is a movie about Family. Or at least some sort of feel-goodery Hollywood conception of it. This movie is very similar to [...]
Crag Dakkins TMC review – September 25, 2008
I began with a martial arts film. Might as well end with one for a sense of symmetry.
I’ve been giving out various Ten Movie Challenge awards in my reviews. Ong-Bak gets the Goldest Movie award. The entire movie has a gold tint.
I once saw a Thai hooker smoke [...]